At the end of last year when Ps John told us his fitness goals and that he wanted to do the Ironman in June, a part of me was trying to reason it out and another part of me was excited. That same day Ps John asked us who is standing in faith for bike’s and said that he is joining his faith with ours. A few weeks later all the MiXChangers of 2021 got their bikes. 

 

Even though it hadn’t fully registered in my mind yet, that was one of the very first moments that I knew that God was all over this. That just encouraged and pushed me to actually start training on a regular, consistent and constant basis. All through December I trained (for the first time ever) and I enjoyed it, for the first time training didn’t feel like a burden or a chore or a box that I needed to tick. I had to check myself and tell myself not to look at what other people were doing and also to not look at what they were not doing. It became very real to me that it was a sourge on both Ps John and God’s heart, and it laid the foundation for a healthier, conditioned life, and taught me to be faithful because although no one saw whether I did it or not, or how hard I did or didn’t do it, God saw, He saw whether I was faithful or not in that little. 

 

Fast forwarding a couple of weeks, to when the new MiXChangers joined, we had a meeting with Matt about the goals that we had for ourselves. The first shock to my system was the fact that we had such little time to prepare for what seemed to be monster events, and back to back as well. Secondly, it was that we had to start training at 7 in the morning, before work at 9, at the dam. 

 

I live quite the distance from the church and the reserve, so for me to go home at 8 and be back at church for work by 9 was a mountain, from a logistical point of view, because this meant that I would not be able to actually go home and get ready for work, I had to just get dressed and come to work dirty. There was not even time to actually pull out because training started the very next day and we have already written down our goals. There was no turning back. 

 

We started training and the first few days passed, and I still had no solution for a place to go bath. I remember the one morning after training on our way to the car, we just chatted and I mentioned that I don’t have a solution for that, and that morning one person said that I could come bath at their place, and they were so keen to have me that they opened it up to become a permanent solution. God provided me with a way even in something that may seem so minute, and then blessed me in the provision of that as well. 

 

When we went on our Clarens trip, during one of the afternoons, I just took a dip in the pool. And it was so special for me that the girls that were around me knew that I have never properly swam in my life, and on that day they really helped me. I couldn’t even go underwater without keeping my nose closed with my hand. I nearly drowned myself that day trying to do what they demonstrated to me. Nevertheless, their time and energy to help me to get me toward my goal, ministered to me on so many levels. 

 

As time went by, it became very real that we were nearing the closing date for entries to the races we were looking to do. I kind of had the mindset that I first wanted to swim in the dam and then I’ll decide whether I will actually enter or not based on how the dam swim went. Looking back now, I actually had no chance because God had already decided. That was my opportunity to fully give my yes to God, or not. I was really at a crossroad between doing what God had told us to do or doing what I thought I was capable of.  Now, looking back, for me it is very much like our faith walk with God, we can’t just come to Him on our terms and when something works for us. When He orchestrates something, it is either all in or nothing at all. There is no in betweens or maybe’s. He sees your heart and your willingness. It didn’t matter how I felt or what my ability was at that stage, I had to suck it up, grow up and be obedient to the instruction God gave us through Ps John, because it wasn’t just my conditioning at stake. 

 

Just after that Matt called all the people looking to do the triathlon to speak about ways to start swimming, because we were 6 weeks out and hadn’t been in a pool once before. The only option we had was swimming as a group in the reserve before our group training session, for both safety and logistical reasons. That was yet another confrontation for me because not only do I have to already come early in the morning and train, but now I had to come even earlier than that to swim, at 6 in the morning. For the first view days I was going back and forth in my mind about reason why I can’t and don’t want to do it. The first training session that I joined, it was still dark and it was so mysty that you couldn’t even see 5 meters in front of you, and now we had to get into a pool to swim. I was highly confronted by that and the reason being because it took me so far out of my comfort zone, so far out of my norm. But that ended up being a marker moment for me.  

 

We started swimming more constantly and it was such a mental challenge for me every time. Firstly because I was training hard and I was fit, but I just simply wasn’t fit enough to do something as simple as swimming. Secondly, because all the other people around me, out of the pool they were beginners in their training and I have been in a training state my whole life, and now we get into the pool and they look like pro’s and I look like I’m completely clueless. This was probably one of the hardest mental battles I had to fight over this time period because it was all about performance and getting rid of that and just enjoying swimming, not comparing myself to all the other swimmers and rating my ability based off of that. 

 

We swam in the dam the one morning and that challenged me greatly, firsty, to get into a dam (having never been in a dam prior to that in any way, shape, or form), secondly, having to swim in a temperature of 18 degrees and getting out with a temperature of 8 degrees. Swimming was a challenge for me in the pool. I couldn’t even swim one length of the reserve pool without stopping, now I had to go swim in a dam where I can’t stop and stand. I was terrified. But there was such a great peace that came upon me when I saw everyone else and to know that I wasn’t the only one doing it. I did not have a wetsuit, but God knew the cry of my heart and the anxious thoughts I had pertaining to that, and that morning one of the other swimmers lent me their wetsuit so that I could feel more comfortable and warm, knowing how cold it was. When we got out, she was so cold, that parts of her body became purple. In that moment, I so greatly experienced the love of God, that someone so selflessly gave up their own needs, knowing the effect that it would have on them, to meet a need that I had. The people there knew what a mountain that was for me and they helped me get into the water, and swam with me the whole way, just encouraging me and motivating me. They really carried me through that swim that morning with their love. After I got through that barrier, I felt relieved and I knew that God was all the while effectively at work within me to do this. His love for me really empowered me to obey that instruction that He gave us. 

 

3 weeks before the event, I hit a brick wall in my training. My body was in such a fatigued state that my muscles cramped by merely sitting down. I have ran many 5 km’s in my life, but I couldn’t even run a 5km, I walked most of the way. That was yet another mental challenge for me to know that I put in all those hours of training just to get to a point where I can’t even do something that I could easily do before. I started to question the process and if I would even be able to do the events. It was challenging to keep on training, to keep on pushing your body, when you have reached that kind of peak in your body, knowing that you have to keep going but every part of your body is in such a fatigued state that the simplest thing could not even be done. In those few weeks leading up to the events, I really had to put my trust in God that the process would pay off, that He will come through for me. 

 

A week prior to the events, there was still some stuff that I needed. I was asking all around who would lend their stuff to me (trusting God for the things I needed – but went and did my own thing) and then one day, I just had a sense in my spirit to leave it in God’s hands. The week of the event, things just became available to me, God just blessed me and took care of every single need I had. Even from the beginning, God just provided. He just yet again showed how faithful He is to keep His promises, to pay for what He orders. I am still in awe of God how He knows exactly what avenues to use to get the things you need to you, on the perfect timing. That just gave me a boost to actually enjoy the weekend, to not worry or fret about things like that, but to embrace every moment and trust God completely. 

 

On the day of the event, I was really kind of nervous, especially about the swim. But even in that God had me covered. He had put it on the heart of someone to swim with me. We got there the morning of the event, and there was so much logistics that was in play. After we registered, we went down to the transition area where we had to rack our bike’s. We racked our bike’s and put our wetsuits on and got everything ready. We had to exit that area because of the Ultra guys coming in. Everything was a bit of a rush. When I got to the dam, I couldn’t find my ankle band with my timing chip. I just knew that I couldn’t freak out, I just had to trust God. It was so special for me that even in that, the Holy Spirit was helping me. I walked up to where the transitioning area was and some of the Xtream team was there. The moment I told them, they just immediately began to help me search for it. That was, in that moment, such a sneaky tactic from the enemy to distract me, but that weapon didn’t prosper. 

 

We stood there at the dam waiting for our event to start and the love of God was so evident in how the Xtream team was so excited for our Ultra swimmers to come out of the water. And seeing them pass us was just another affirmation that we will also be able to do it. 

 

Our event started and it was a rolling start. We had to swim 600m. There were so many people doing the Sprint triathlon that we were still waiting to start our swim when some of the first guys were finishing and getting out of the water. That just kind of, mentally, made it harder for me, that they are done with one part and we have to yet complete it. When we entered the water, there were 2 people with me, holding my hands to just help a bit in getting me into the water, and just their help and support, pulled me to actually get in the water. Once I was in the water, there was just a wave of joy that came upon me and I not only enjoyed swimming but it was easier than before. There was a current pulling us for the first part of the swim and still today I believe it was the angels smoothing out our paths,making it plain and level before us.  

 

There were a few hiccups along the swim, but that joy that was in my heart just caused me to laugh in those moments, because in that moment God came through for me, as He always does. Just because of obeying an instruction from Him. There was a piece in the swim that I was on my back and I went so of course that people swam to me (they were also doing the sprint and they actually swam to me and had to turn around to go around the buoy) just to come and tell me I’m going the wrong way. Just after that I also swam on my back and a lifeguard came swimming at me asking if I was okay. In both these instances it was so evident for me actually, practically speaking, how God ministers to you, how He changes the very course of people and things to come and to meet your need, to make sure that you are on the right track. In the lifeguard rushing to me, I saw God’s hand all over that, and looking back now, that is really what Jesus and Holy Spirit is to us, our Lifeguards, when it seems at though we might be in trouble or about to drown, even when we think everything might be fine, They are right there to just help you. Little did I know that just after that was a big patch of grass and that actually tied around both my ankles and my wrists that it felt as though it was dragging me under the water and I couldn’t do anything, I had to just start kicking to try and get myself loose and get going. Likewise that is so typically God, He knows the things coming your way, He knows the plans and purposes He has for His children, and He will do anything in His power to come to your aid before the attacks comes your way, to make sure that you have the victory, that you get to the other side, untouched, unharmed, with nothing missing and nothing broken. I just kept on looking, searching for that finish line where you get out of the water, and it was so significant for me that the moment that you start shifting your focus from where you are now, to where you could be with and in God, everything becomes so much easier, because everything you need is there, all the people, everything. But you have to choose to want to get there, no one can get there for you. 

 

It was so special to me that even if my body felt the burn, everytime you would go past one of the Xtream team, whether a supporter or an athlete, it was so special, to see them accomplishing their goals and exceeding in it, or to give up part of themselves to cheer for you from the top of their lungs, to just feel the love of God and the presence of God, feeling His angels all around us. Knowing I wasn’t alone, really pushed me to do the best that I could. 

 

All in all this was really a journey for me of getting out of my comfort zone, of breaking past physical and mental barriers that I’ve had for many years, even coming up in my faith to grow in different areas and to overcome many challenges. This has also been a journey of encountering God, growing in my walk with Him, learning to trust and obey Him even in the smallest of details. But mostly this has been a journey where I had to do a lot of introspection to check my own heart, my own cultures, my own habits and patterns and my own will, and to sort out those things. They were exposed for what they were and they could be dealt with. 

 

I truly thank God for His Master plan, for always being there, moving His hand and showing Himself great. Praise God!