When Ps John announced that we were doing Bank 2 Bush, I was conflicted within myself about my own heart before God on this. Over the years, we have had many opportunities to encounter the living Word and get our hearts in a place where we had a conviction about conditioning for ourselves, but something was different this time around.
When we started training, I was very confronted by the fact that, because of circumstances and other things I was led to do, my conditioning was not where it ought to have been. I knew by the Spirit I had no choice but to submit and obey but my soul was battling with it to an extent that it never had before. I understood the significance of this trip both naturally and spiritually, and, to some extent, I did not feel prepared enough to do what was required of me.
By the help of those who God has placed around me, training not only became easier, but it became enjoyable. There were a few hiccups along the way, but my choice to obey the call of God made a demand on me to suck it up. I was conflicted with my decision even en route to Middleburg Dam and cleating in to start the first day.
As I gave myself to do the will of God, I found within me an expectation rising up to be equipped and strengthened by His joy in moments where the next few moments seemed so far away and impossible to do.
En route to Middelburg Dam on Monday morning to start our first day, I experienced all kinds of emotions and all kinds of confrontations. I knew that the only way I would be able to keep at it was if I gave myself to the Spirit of God to do as He pleases because in my own physical fitness, I seemed weak and unable.
The first day was hard. It had been a few weeks since I had been on the bike for a significant period of time and it was only the second time I had ever encountered a triple-digit distance. I felt the pressure. It was a new experience for me to, by faith, be so confident that I could do it, yet, in the natural, not knowing how I would. This was probably the hardest ride I had done up until that point. My only goal on that ride was to not let it influence my faith for the days that were yet to come.
As the days went by, it became progressively easier even though the route itself got harder. It was a joy to me to experience faith at work in real-time and seeing how by each pedal stroke, my fitness increased. Going from one side of the spectrum of not feeling adequate for the task, to the other side of wanting to do it all over again, was surreal. Never before was cycling as easy as it was at this point.
On day 3, we had to cycle from a valley to the top of a mountain, covering 600m of vertical ascent over 8 kilometers. At the bottom of the hill, I reached my granny gear. I did not know how I was going to do the climbing that was ahead. A few times along the road in our ascent to the top, all I wanted to do was get off the bike, but I had within me a fire and a drive to prove to myself that I was capable of more than I perceived. I did it. It was a marker moment for me as I broke through a physical barrier that seemed impossible. When we stopped at the top, I knew that from that moment onwards, I had no excuse – everything had shifted.
In the moment, it seemed insurmountable to ride those roads and climb those mountains, yet, looking back, it’s like it was the best time of our lives, building grit with people you care about, knowing that the pain you are experiencing is building within you perseverance that carries through to other aspects that affect those very people around you. I experienced a bit of Jesus on the cross, that even in His greatest pain, He still chose others and serving them above Himself and what He was experiencing.
Yes, this was a physical marker in my journey of exchanging with God, but it shifted many more things than I had ever known was possible.